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The Tale of the Selkie Spell Gone Awry....

For those who do not know, a selkie is a fabulous humanoid that can change from seal to human man (or woman).  They are reputed to be very pale-skinned when not in their seal suits with white hair and large black eyes.  It was once believed they would emerge from the waters underneath the full moon in order to dance in great selkie gatherings on the sands.

While researching selkies for a painting, I came across a spell to summon a selkie lover.  As I was living in Fernandina Beach at the time, I gave in to curiosity and drove to the beach one night in order to see if it would work.  After doing the deed, I waited a few minutes and then went home.  Promptly, I forgot I had done it - as I tend to do with my metaphysical jokes - and turned to other more pressing matters.

The days passed by until approximately two weeks had passed.  By habit, my parents watch the news every evening while I sit somewhere, usually the couch, and draw or read.  One evening my attention was arrested by news from somewhere up north - I forget where, I think New Zealand.  The story was about "The Seal With An Itch" who was apparently "scratching" that itch by bashing in cars.

He was a brute of a seal bull, I'll give him that.  The film the news station showed was almost shocking; he had come ashore with a special kind of itch and was taking it out on parked cars while the helpless owners stood by and watched him do it.  Bash! Bash! Bash!  That seal made pancakes of those cars by slamming his entire body onto them.  I was shocked.

Well, I reasoned to myself later, it's not like I gave directions in the selkie spell of exactly *where* to go.  And I've never heard of seals going to Florida beaches... I felt guilty for a minute for releasing a sexually-frustrated (possibly) seal bull to the world at large.  But, hey.

The spell worked.

February 2004 - update.

I did the spell again a week ago, and today heard on the news of the same thing.  Those selkies. Good looking buggers, but terrible with directions.